Please, hear what i'm not saying

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask i wear. For i wear a mask, i wear a thousand masks, masks that i am afraid to take off, and none of them is me.Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.

.....i give the impression that i'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without ; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the waters are calm and that i'm in command and i need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.

I idly chatter with you in the suave tone of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, nothing of what's crying within me. So when i'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what i'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what i'm not saying ; what i'd like to be able to say ; what , for survival, i need to say but i can't say. I dislike the hiding. Honestly i do.i dislike the superficial phony games i'm playing.

I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous and me ; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing i seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart began to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding , i can make it. You can breathe life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive, and i am a child.

Who am i, you may wonder. For i am every man, every women, every child........every human you meet.


- the 7 habits of highly effective teens -

3 comments:

Amal Hanani Abdul Halim said...

blooob blooob blooob
i'm sorry i'm being fooled by you everyday....

Anisah Shamilah MS said...

Haha..
It's not about me la amal.
It's everyone la.

Confidence IS my name and coolness IS my game. :P
Eventough awak cakap saya pelik. :D

farahnur said...

i like this pne too :D